Where is the Love?

Lisa Levandowski, Shanghai

Admittingly, I’m bad at dating. Moving to China and being surrounded by nearly 180 million bachelors (according to the National Women’s Union) and faced with an overwhelming gender imbalance in my favor (24 million more men of marriage age than women), yet unable to communicate with most men here is like a cruel trick by the gods, but that is an entirely different blog post.

Based on my research, I’m not the only one struggling to find love. In China, the social pressures to find a partner are intense. My Chinese friends and colleagues have told me that their parents expect them to be married before they're 30. There is even a word for those who are still single in their late twenties and thirties: shengnan and shengnv, literally a "left-over man" or "left-over woman."

The bright spot for singles looking to mingle, at least for those in Shanghai, is that the city is crawling with like-minded lonely hearts searching for love – you just have to know where to look. An inquiring mind can certainly explore the burgeoning online dating world. However, for those looking for something a little more intimate and much more interesting, creative solutions to problems of the heart can be as simple as a trip to the park of even IKEA…

Shanghai Marriage Market

At the marriage market, parents, with or without their children’s consent, arrange meetings, dates and potential matches for their kids. Some children, often too busy working to devote time to meeting a soul mate, accept their parents' help. People’s Park in Shanghai has become a nuptial gathering place for eager parents looking to pair off their children. Each weekend, the walking paths and any noticeable shrubbery is scattered with papers and advertisements touting the weight, height, salary and education of singles in need of a partner.

  

 

IKEA

Yes, you read that correctly, IKEA. In the past year, IKEA has accidentally become the host spot for seniors to gather, sip the store cafeteria’s free coffee and seek conversation and companionship. Mostly reserved for elders, this has become a twice weekly mixer and one that the store isn’t necessarily happy about, but respectful enough to allow the gatherings to carry on.

Matchmaking Fair

The western equivalent of speed dating, Shanghai recently held its “First Matchmaking Fair.” Spanning two days, and opened exclusively for Chinese nationals, the event drew nearly 10,000 singles looking for love - how can you not like those odds?

So, while this hasn’t been an opus on consumerism in China, I hope for you it’s at least been an interesting perspective on what seems to be a societal trend in Shanghai. And, perhaps more importantly, a roadmap for singletons – after all, you never know, a trip to IKEA might be just the place to meet your future Mr. or Mrs.